THE DUFF

Bianca (Mae Whitman) shines in this hilarious teen comedy.

The DUFF
Directed by Ari Sandel
Written by Josh A. Cagan
Based on the novel "The Duff" by Jody Keplinger
Starring Mae Whitman, Robbie Amell, Bella Thorne, Bianca A. Santos, Allison Janney, Skyler Samuels, Jen Jeong
2015, PG-13, 101 mins.

Flashback a couple years ago, critics and audiences alike were gushing all over EASY A, the Emma Stone-led teen comedy that everyone cited as invoking the relatability, romance, and contemporaryness of those John Hughes movies of the eighties - but, y'know, nowish. I personally never bought a ticket on the EASY A bandwagon of love, although I do admit it's a darn good movie with one beautiful and talented lead actress, but it never really deserved all the kudos it got. 

With THE DUFF, here's a situation where I feel that here's a movie that completely deserves all those accolades - the relatability, the feel-good romance vibe, and firmly reflecting the contemporary culture in which it's set - probably won't get its due from critics and the mass audience, and that's a shame, cos THE DUFF is a gem. 

D.U.F.F. means Designated Ugly Fat Friend - now, the Duff doesn't necessarily have to be ugly or fat, they're just the least desirable member of a group. Compared to her friends Jess (Samuels) and Casey (Santos), Bianca is the DUFF, a fact  brought to her attention by next-door neighbor/long-ago friend Wes (Amell), the football player with abs of steel . Understandably pissed at this new revelation that completely alters Bianca's perspective of her role in her friendships and self worth, Bianca cuts a deal with Wes - help her overcome her DUFFyness to ask out Cute Musician Boy Toby she's crushing on, and she'll help him pass his studies. It's a match made in screwed up heaven.

At the time of this review, I've watched THE DUFF twice, and hope to again before it leaves theaters (although that might not be too far in the future, thanks to rather weak box office receipts). It's that fun and that good. Mae Whitman's vulnerable yet tough performance as Bianca is impressive enough to easily tempt me to check out NBC's PARENTHOOD series, or at the very least, eagerly await whatever projects she has coming up in the pipeline. The script is funny, with great jokes, self-deprecating humor, a bit of a meta edge, and best of all, a tone that doesn't take itself too seriously. Amell is perfect as both encapsulating and then subverting the football jock stereotype, lending a certain charm and nuance to the role that could otherwise have been lost in the hands of another actor. 

Thing is, THE DUFF just works. Right  from the beginning, with its technology saturated opening exposition to a brilliant social media de-friending scene about halfway through the movie, to the hammy but enormously satisfying finale and YouTube-y closing credits, the tone works, and with two irresistibly attractive and endearing leads delivering the scripts sharp jokes, it's easy to get why multiple viewings only help make the viewer love it more (or maybe it's just me; for all I know, I'll convince you to see it, and you, gentle reader, will find it positively rubbish, but I properly don't think so). 

Hell, any movie that makes Ken Jeong sufferable and even prompting a laugh-out-loud moment or two is well worth a recommendation. After five seasons on COMMUNITY trying my patience at every turn, it's a nice, very welcome chang of pace not to hate the guy (see what I did there?). If there's any criticism to be had, the movie does end a wee bit too quickly, culminating at a school dance where Bianca sort of abandons her friends without any exchange between the three parties. It's an off-putting moment that slightly dampers a victorious vibe. Earlier on, there's a hilarious CG-fail involving a lawn mower and clothes that is just so lazily put together, it adds its own layer of laughability.

All in all, THE DUFF, from a structural, storytelling standpoint, doesn't break any new ground, and similar to EASY A, it nails the Lesson We're Trying to Convey Here a bit too heavy on the nose, but the fact the leads are so damn good and funny, and the script barely goes a scene without a clever wit or charm easily makes this one of the more entertaining and fun times at the movies in quite a while. Strongly recommended, cos, y'know, laughing is good. And Mae Whitman is pretty.

The Virginity Hit

The Virginity Hit

Cast: Matt Bennett, Zack Pearlman, Jacob Davich, Justin Kline, Nicole Weaver Writer: Andrew Gurland, Huck Botko Director: Andrew Gurland, Huck Botko Release: 24 September 2010 Gary Sanchez Productions, 86 mins., Rated R

Plot: Of all his friends, Matt's the last virgin standing, and his camera-obsessed brother is there to film the whole damn adventure.

Judging from all the extremely positive reviews of VIRGINITY HIT that's hit online [hehe, hit online], I can safely say that nearly everyone everywhere hated it, walked out, and some even demanded their money back. Perhaps I'm still a tad too immature for my ancient age of 20, but beyond all reason, I can't say I didn't like the movie. It had its bad parts, for sure, but the overall product was a enjoyable experience, and I did in fact laugh at multiple occasions, something that has been quite difficult to accomplish with summer 'comedies' that aren't called SCOTT PILGRIM. Since I'm quite sure the lot of you who have actual interest in the movie will see it, and those who wish the filmmakers to suffer in eternal Dante-like damnation will have already chosen to not see it, I'll make this review short and simple.

The best thing VIRGINITY HIT has going for it is a charismatic cast that never once gave off the impression that we were watching a performance. For all intents and purposes, I felt as if I really was being granted a peak into these teenagers' lives, and living the ridiculously outlandish tale of Matt losing his virginity [well, if it wasn't outlandish, there really wouldn't be a reason for the movie to exist, anyway...]. The reality of the flick was fantastic - if I didn't know better, I would most definitely have sworn this was home video footage that was too outrageous to not be shown unto the world. The entire cast work off each other brilliantly, never feeling forced or gimmicky; real friendships and romances were thrown onscreen, dudes and lady dudes. Yes, I know it was all fake, but this has most definitely been one of the best examples of actors living the part. The cut-together segments also add to the already funny sequences, the one-liners are actually pretty humorous, and for the first time in a long, long, long while, I actually giggled at a poop and fart joke. I guess if they craft it right, it works. So in summation: the cast is wonderful, the jokes are there and are genuinely funny, and in a way, I didn't want the movie to reach its conclusion.

Now, the negative parts: the resolution of Matt and Nicole's relationship was simply a cop-out, and if I was Nicole, that was not the way I'd have it go down. Even as a non-girl, I felt pissed for her in a situation that she seemed relatively fine with. Another aspect I automatically dislike no matter how good the movie is: frakkin' rich kids. These teens have a giant pool, a bazillion rooms, a van, and complete disregard for rules and authority. Why couldn't they just be random everyday Joe's who just happen to have a video camera filming stuff? And my final dislike: there are some jokes that just didn't work, and I actually bowed my head in shame.

So what can I take away from this? I don't regret paying for THE VIRGINITY HIT. In fact, I'd still recommend it as pretty decent entertainment. I understand it won't appeal to a large majority of folks, and will probably receive a larger audience in the DVD market. Like all movies, low-budget and major releases, it has its faults, and it also has its strengths. The comedy is no AMERICAN PIE [which is pretty much my favorite teen-oriented franchise of all time], but it's a entertaining fluff piece with some genuine 'moments', pretty cool and realistic characters, and a good amount of fun thrown into the mix.

Youth in Revolt

YOUTH IN REVOLT

Cast: Michael Cera, Portia Doubleday, Jean Smart, Zach Galifianakis, Steve Buscemi, Fred Willard, Jonathan B. Wright
Writer: Gustin Nash (screenplay), C.D Payne (novel)
Director: Miguel Arteta
Release: 08 January 2010
Dimension Films, 90 mins., Rated R

That was...odd.

C.D. Payne's beloved book finally hits the big screen in a movie adaptation that is, for the most part, quite good, but Cera's own performance actually ends up hurting the film than it does helping it, which is weird considering how passionate he was about the project. This is a Michael Cera movie all the way, and if you, like me, are starting to get way too overly annoyed by Cera's natural awkwardness and stammering, Youth in Revolt will drive you absolutely bonkers. But on the plus side, the story does offer Cera an opportunity to branch out and not be that awkward stammering grievance. Now outside of Cera, the movie is generally great. There's plenty of really bizarre, over-the-top things that happen, such as two drawn big figures locked in a sex position coming to life and floating in the air as Cera watches in bewilderment; or the cool but out-of-place animation that accompanies the title sequence.

Nick Twisp (Cera), 16-year old outcast virgin, goes on vacation with his dysfunctional Ma (Smart) and her boyfriend (Galifianakis), and meets Sheeni Saunders (Doubleday), a gal at the peak of her sexuality. Nick and Sheeni grow a affection for each other, but any romantic prospects is demolitioned with Sheeni's ex-boyfriend, do-gooder Trent (Wright) still hanging around campus. Feeling that Sheeni wants a dangerous man - basically his complete opposite - Nick creates a separate persona, modeled after Sheeni's fantasy dude, the cigarette-smoking Francois Dillinger (Cera), to win her affections. Much chaos ensues, police become involved, a French school gets invaded, and the prospect of Nick losing his virginity and getting the girl of his dreams is going bye-bye rather quickly...

Youth in Revolt is a hard type of film to comment on. Its biggest strength is the screenplay, which is a brilliant adaptation of the book (the few 40 or so pages I read) complete with funny gags, hilarious but highly improbable situations that are fun to watch, hints of Diablo Cody-esque dialogue, and a generally interesting story (read: the creating of another persona to win a gal's heart; haven't heard that one before...). A great cast of supporting characters also helps immensely. Portia Doubleday as Sheeni is phenomenal, sporting off her sexuality but at the same time not being a one-dimensional object of desire, but instead having her own personality, her own aspirations. Great casting choice. Jean Smart (24) is underused, but her scenes are great, if not a little depressing; Zack Galifianakis, much praised after The Hangover, is only around for a small period of running time, but he makes every frame count. Fred Willard (American Wedding and a bagillion other comedies) gets stoned out of his mind, and Steve Buscemi basically comes in and out for a paycheck. At least he got to mack out with a attractive 20-something gal.

But the flick gets burned by lead Michael Cera. Is it really too much to ask for him to try something new with the 'socially awkward kid' role? With each subsequent movie, try some new technique out? On the plus side, it was a blast watching Cera as Francois Dillinger, who constantly berates Nick, wears ridiculous outfits, and resorts to extreme measures to get out of situations. If it wasn't for Francois Dillinger, I doubt I'd enjoy the film as much.

The movie goes in all sorts of (surprising) directions. I had no idea Nick was going to get into as much trouble as he did. I had no idea he had the balls to pull off a lot of the stunts that he did. And I had no idea of the freakish-but-cool animated shots that show up here and there. The performances were great - Cera still needs to evolve or else he's truly a goner, and the script was very well written. All in all, I'd recommend Youth in Revolt. It's at least quite memorable.

I Love You, Beth Cooper

I Love You, Beth Cooper
starring Paul Rust, Hayden Panettiere, Jack. T. Carpenter, Lauren London, Lauren Storm, Alan Ruck, Cynthia Stevenson
written by Larry Doyle based off his book "I Love You, Beth Cooper"
directed by
Fox Atomic, 104 mins., Rated

Pretty Frakkin' Good

Hayden Panettiere is hot, thus Andy buys ticket to see her movie. Hayden Panettiere is hot.

For that reason, and because the premise sounded too good to pass up, I saw I Love You, Beth Cooper, yet another one of those "teenager grows up and lives in one night" type pictures, most recently seen in last year's Nick & Nora's Infinite Playlist. Although lacking in originality (aside from the opening speech, which I found absolutely delicious), it's the characters and their strong interactions that make this movie recommendable and worthwhile.

Socially awkward but Valedictorian Denis Cooverman (Rust) professes his love to Beth Cooper (Panettiere) during his high school graduation speech. Amused by his confession, Beth and her friends Teresa (Storm) and Cameron (London) bring him and his bud Rich (Carpenter) along for a night of fun in their life of just hanging out and being crazy. Aside from that, they also need to escape Beth's jealous hunky cheating boyfriend Kevin who wants nothing more than to beat the snot out of Denis; but hey, everyone's having a merry, jolly good time, and along the way, they get to know each other better and through one night, they also confront the reality of life after high school.

A pretty solid story that doesn't really hold much in the way of surprises, what really anchors a flick like this is the journey the characters take from Point A) where they are in the beginning, to Point Z) where they end up. Have they changed as people? Have they come to terms with a problem that has been bugging them? Y'know, actual bloody character development. Well, the nice thing about Beth Cooper is that the movie successfully fills in the running time without feeling too long with many funny gags and moments of absolute craziness (not to mention kudos to the geek universe, with such geek-inspired moments like Denis taking out his Master Replicas Luke Skywalker Return of the Jedi lightsaber), but lacks development for its central character, Denis himself.

Sure, Denis is a little more open to people by the film's conclusion, and experienced a life he never knew in high school, and actually got to converse with the girl he's been daydreaming about for ages, but I don't feel that his character actually grew substantially. A rebuttal to this could be the opening scene, in which Denis pretty much tells people off, saying everything face value; it's a moment of taking a stand that's extremely admirable, and I kinda wanted to clap for the guy and give him a standing ovation. But after this moment of power, he resorts back to his introverted self. Baby steps...I guess I can deal. Beth, on the other hand, begins the night as her normal self, and through Denis' dorkiness, 'cuteness', and, well, kindness I guess, she opens up to him and reveals herself. And as the cheerleader captain who lived the life in high school, she needs to confront what life will be outside the school walls. The what's next. Beth's friends are, more or less, background characters. Rich simply needs to find out if he's gay or not, but he does have an awesome moment in which he deals with being picked on as a kid with a fiery vengeance that's completely entertaining to watch.

As far as honesty goes, I actually think Sex Drive depicted teenagers more accurately (although this is far, far, far superior to ABC Family's Secret Life of the American Teenager, who basically promote the series as as close to teenagery as you can get without, y'know, being a teenager). Denis and Rich act very much like teenage stereotypes, never forming their own identity. This could quite very well be intentional, or the writer felt that he wanted to have the main character hit all the nerd stereotypes and work from there. But honestly, I just found Denis annoying. One scene in particular, when he's getting pounded on by Beth's boyfriend at a party, he does nothing. Zilch. The kids in Drillbit Taylor took more initative than this kid! Perhaps I'm expecting too much. Its like the kid doesn't want to change, despite his comments to the contrary. It's frustrating because the movie's supposed to be about him opening up, so I would at least hope Denis would think, 'why the frak not?', and try to defend himself!

Alright, momentary agitation is soo over...

The only other thing aside from the ginormous age difference between the cast and the characters (they may be in their twenties, but there's plenty of them, including Rust, who look like they're nearing freakin' forty) is the improbability of many of the situations the characters find themselves in, and their resolutions. At one point, a character drives a giant truck into a super expensive house, and leaves without any incident or legal problamo. Perhaps this all occurs in offscreenville?

I Love You, Beth Cooper had all the ingredients to be a rather heart-warming, spectacular coming-of-age teen comedy/drama, but aside from a few sprinkled moments here and there that don't really come off too convincing, the movie relies more on the hilarious jokes and situations than the heart of the story. And c'mon - they could totally have hired an actor that looked remotely close to a teenager, not someone lookin' in their forties, mate. But hell - I still enjoyed my time at the theater, despite the back of my head telling me I coulda wrote and directed this movie better...uh, and on that note, see I Love You, Beth Cooper!

17 Again

17 Again
starring Zac Efron, Matthew Perry, Thomas Lennon, Leslie Mann
written by Jason Filardi
directed by Burr Steers
original release date: 17 April 2009
New Line Cinema, 102 mins.

A Frakkin' Guilty Pleasure

I just witnessed one of the most spectacular lightsaber battles of all time, and it was between Zac Efron and Thomas Lennon in 17 Again. That alone gives it brownie points. In fact, this film has more wet dream geek moments than the entirety of Fanboys. Unfortunately, my uber-macho cool exterior came crumbling down to my friend who accompanied me as I squirmed when some teenagers carelessly messed around with one of those hundred dollar Master Replica lightsabers (specifically some Episode IV Darth Vader and Episode III Obi-Wan Kenobi). Perhaps a little bit in the realm of slightly sad, but I was wanting me a lot of the merchandise Lennon's character owned - wow, they were beautiful.

And now, in an attempt to veer away from some more Star Wars gushing, I'm going to summarize this entire review by saying that 17 Again was a wholeheartedly enjoyable experience that literally had me laughing maybe 10 minutes after a particular joke ended, and my thinking of that joke once again made me erupt in even more laughter, much to the annoyance of my friend. The flick was just great - a perfect family friendly movie that audience members of all ages will dig. And concerning whether or not the world-renown High School Musical star can be a leading man, all I gotta say is that it's pretty sad that he outshines Matthew Perry's performance tremendously, which makes me a little ticked because Chandler was my favorite character in Friends. Fictional character, I know - but I dug the actor.

As a teenager, Mike O'Donnell left his basketball career behind to support his pregnant girlfriend Scarlet. Dreams shattered, potential never realized, for 20 years Mike resents his life and how it turned out. With a soon-to-be finalized divorce from Scar (Mann) and being skipped of a better job at his place of employment, Mike (Perry) gives up, but with the help of a mysterious janitor, Mike is transformed back into his 17-year old persona (Efron), who takes full advantage of this strange series of events. With the help of his Uncle Ned (Lennon), Mike tries to accomplish whatever task he was sent back to accomplish, but also have some fun while he's at it.

17 Again is AWESOME! Far and beyond better than I expected to be (albeit my expectations weren't exactly reaching Dark Knight levels), the film was a laugh-fest from start to finish. Sure, it adds in the dramatic elements as per the necessary screenwriting rules, but it never overshadows the characters or the laughs (here's me looking at Knocked Up).

So, Zac Efron. 17 Again is essentially the movie that would make or break him, since this would be the first time (outside of a musical) that audiences would be able to see what Efron had to offer as an actor. Sadly, I think we'll be waiting awhile for Me and Orson Wells, his first fully dramatic role, but if this is any indication, I think it's proven that Efron has what it takes to be a full-fledged, serious actor. Efron owns in this role. Once you get past his freaky 1980's appearance in the flashbacks and he gets back to looking Efron-y, you can't help but love this guy and everything he tries to do for his teenage kids.

And I want to now admit my undying love for Leslie Mann (Knocked Up, Funny People), who absolutely radiates awesomeness in her performance as the estranged wife of Perry's. She's plays an awesome wife, at least as per the script dictates, and sometimes I wanted to hit Perry in the head for even contemplating ruining the marriage. Speaking of Perry, his performance here neither makes or breaks the flick, as he's hardly in it, and whatever presence he does have isn't nearly powerful enough to remember that he was even in the bloody movie a week later thinking back on it. Thomas Lennon's Uncle Ned, in case I didn't mention this before, is truly the highlight of the movie.

It's great to have a teen comedy that embraces and at times makes fun of the changing trends of the time. For instance, as exampled in the film, the huge difference of the way high school was from a '80's standpoint to today. Sure, there's plenty that stays the same, like cliques and social statuses and the popularity of sports, but it's a whole new different ball-field with the teens and how they dress and speak. 17 Again notes those differences and also remarks on the similarities.

Within the first 10 minutes of the comedy, I had a grin on my face that didn't fade until after the movie ended, and even so, I burst out in laughter thinking about some of the jokes (though, I confess, they were mainly geek-related), and that's a sign of a comedy that was successfully funny and wholly enjoyable. If for no other reason - be it Zac Efron, be it for your teenage daughters, or to locate a laugh-out-loud comedy - 17 Again is fun. And in a period where most movies, even comedies, have a rather bleak nature to them (or are just completely stupid, such as anything with Dane Cook in the mix), this is most welcomed.

American Teen, Fired Up

American Teen
starring Hannah Bailey, Colin Clemens, Geoff Haase, Megan Krizmanich, Mitch Reinholt, Jake Tusing, Ali Wikalinska,
directed by Nanette Burstein
2008, 95 mins., Rated PG-13

***1/2 (out of ****)

American Teen was recieving quite the positive reviews when it was hitting film festivals, and that coupled with the subject matter peaked my interest. Unfortunately, the Powers That Be thought that the flick wasn't worth releasing theatrically (same thing happened with Bill Mahr's Religulous - had to wait for DVD), so the only way non gray-haired Academy members could get their hands on it would be for the eventual DVD release. And of course, the distributor had to complicate matters by making it a TARGET exclusive. I, however, using my brilliant intellect, devised a plan to use the ever-faithful Netflix to get a copy! And indeed, my search did not fail me - a copy of American Teen was readily avaliable to send! A quick add to my #1 spot, the DVD arrived two days later, and boy was it worth the wait - in fact, my only gripe with the entire movie is that I wish it ran a little longer, like Curious Case of Benjamin Button length.

The documentary follows five high school seniors in Indiana - and these kids follow high school stereotypes to the T (I think that's the correct expression; if not, you get the point...I hope). There's the socially awkward nerd Colin, who wants to connect with people and feel involved when he doesn't contradictorally want to be left alone; Hannah, the artistic girl who does "her own thing" regardless of what anyone else thinks, and has a difficult decision ahead of her; Geoff, the big-time basketball player who needs to do brilliantly to impress college scouts for a scholarship, 'cuz his family don't have any money to send him anywhere else; and finally, Megan, the Queen Bitch who says "like" to many times and is trying to follow her familys path by attending Notre Dame. From the beginning of the year to graduation, the documentary showcases the full, unedited truth of high school! Dun, dun, dun...

The sad thing is is that I, and I'm sure everyone else, knew or knows people exactly like them. As for me, I would probably be labeled the Geeky kid, but I have never been anywhere near as socially inept as Colin. Although he seems to have dropped the barrier a bit since the film's release (I'm getting this amazing insight from watching the special features - he seems more relaxed), I felt a little sorry for the kid here and there. But then suddenly, he does or says something around someone so not cool that I'm just smacking my own head in frustration. And the funny part is, the dude got to snog, like two girls in the movie! There's hope for me yet...

Anyway, there's times when I'm watching this truly captivating documentary and I think everything's all performed, because what transpires onscreen correlates with teen dramadies to a scary degree. It's amazing that even throughout all these decades, things change, but a very vast majority of things remain ever-so-suckily the same. I think Molly Ringwold said something similar to this insightful statement in a bonus feature documentary...in which case, she stole it from me...

The worst part of the documentary is that the people who come out not looking all that great aren't the kids themselves, but the parents. Geoff's parents are far too harsh and demanding, while Megan's parents attempt to use reverse psychology (I can't believe that they mean what they say, it simply doesn't sound right) to say they actually don't care if Megan gets into Note Dame, as long as she's happy, blah, blah, blah; and we all - including her - know it's bull. Hannah's grandparents or what have you [and her father] actually come off as decent people who genuinelly want the best for their little girl. Strangely enough, they're the only ones who seem the most honest and real.

American Teen is a really cool documentary, and easily recommendable for all viewers. Chances are you'll relate to it more than you'd think, and probably like it more because of that. The entire flick is captivating, and it's literally amazing you're watching this real-life, TV-like soap opera evolve before your eyes. Once the film's over, if you're like me, you'll be heading straight to the bonus material to find out more. It features a short 'what are you up to now', but nothing too stellar.

Fired Up!
starring Eric Christian Olsen, Nicholas D'Agosto, Sarah Roemer
written by Freedom Jones
directed by Will Gluck
2009, 90 mins., Rated PG-13

*** (out of ****)

I admit my incentive to see Fired Up! was Ms. Sarah Roemer, who heated up the screen opposite Shia LaBeouf in Disturbia two years ago. But - well, much to my surprise, it ended up being a pretty funny movie that was well worth my hard-earned dollars. And just because all the commercials are showing the cheerleading aspect of the flick, I assure you, the movie's not all about cheerleading. It's not Bring It On; in fact, the movie even takes the step to show Bring It On outside as a "cheer event" (which elicits a nice laugh as all the cheerleaders recite every line). This movie is about two players having fun, and, of course, learning a little something about themselves. So, you may ask, if the movie is such a cliché , why bother with it? The very simple answer is: I haven't had this much fun watching a movie in a while. Well, at least since Sex Drive.

Nick (Olsen) and Shawn (D'Agosto) have pretty much had their way with the entire female student body at school, so they set their sights to cheerleading camp. Carly (Roemer), the resident cheerleading captain, isn't all that happy to have the two sausages on the team, but she's surprised to find that the two actually help improve morale and techniques. Of course, it's all for show - well, at least for Nick: he just wants to shag and get out, but Shawn's beginning to actually get into everything, and (spoiler) falls for Carly. And not in a "I must shag you" type of way, but in a "I have butterflies in my stomach" way. Problem: Carly has a powerful older boyfriend who wants to see these guys kicked out, and this could stand in the way of a Shawn and Carly pairing. Shit will hit the proverbial fan before this intense conflict is resolved.

Perhaps the reason I dug this film so much is the simple concept that - as the commentators at the IMDB boards suggest - I went into it not expecting anything resembling decency, so when I actually laugh here and there, I'm under the impression it was good. I'm not about to rule that out, but it's a week later [since I saw the flick], and I still think about moments in the film that elicited a laugh, so I can firmly say that I deny that assertion [well, at least on my end; maybe you think it's a big pile of dog poopey ain retrospect]. The fact is, it's funny, and one helluva good time.

There's plenty of jokes, and keep in mind, these are jokes that actually work. Semi-Pro this is not! [c'mon, that comedy didn't have one frakkin' funny bone in its spineless body!] To watch these guys transform from womanizers to actually getting into this whole cheerleading business - well, it's a blast. And Nick's constant attempts to nail the head coaches' wife is truly priceless, and all pays off in a big way towards it's inevitable but nonetheless enjoyable conclusion.

A funny running gag is how many times they can create new words to substitute male and female genitalia. Typically, I'd get annoyed when some joke like this comes up because I don't understand why films can't come right out and say the damn words, but it's so bloody amusing to listen to these variations, it's instantly forgiven. If I could happen to remember half of them, they would be stuck in my vocabulary. And finally, I just want to give a shout-out to one of the songs in the movie, which kept repeating: "Stop being a dick!" [this was after when Nick and Shawn were "found out", and they're on their way home in shame]. It's so dumb it's funny. Of course, some of this humor may appeal only to idiot adolescents such as myself...

If Fired Up! is a sign of how 2009's comedy slate is going to be, then count me mildly excited. Sure, it's not fantastic, and it definitely adheres to the 'by-the-book' syndrome nearly all comedies in the galaxy are prone to following, but it acknowledges what it is and has as much fun with it as possible - and that's admirable.

College

Starring Drake Bell, Andrew Caldwell, Kevin Covais, Haley Bennett, Ryan Pinkston, Gary Owens
Written by Dan Callahan & Adam Ellison
Directed by Deb Hagan
Rated R, 94 mins.,

* (out of ****)

With ownership of plenty of teen comedies (despite never seeing Revenge of the Nerds, sadly), I find myself constantly defending the films from others who find them to be complete garbage. And perhaps they are crap, but I like ‘em. But, I have never felt guilty – or insulated, for that matter – for liking them. College, however, made me feel embarrassed not only for myself, but all parties involved; this was just…bad. And considering how October brought us the actually decent Sex Drive, I had not-so-high hopes (but hopes nonetheless!) that College would be worthwhile. It is, in a sense, to show future teen comedy directors and writers what not to do.
I have no doubt that plenty of teens ate every second of this walking cliché up as if it was the freshest and most original comedy they’ve ever seen; for me, however, this was just a total disaster (get it? Disaster Movie? get it? I'm referencing my reference; just like those movies!!!). There simply is no reason to see College when what this film is has been done a thousand times better by a thousand other movies.

But, good news is, there is one redeeming quality for the movie. Nope, it's not the gratuitous nudity (and there's plenty, but oddly, all those girls are quite unattractive), but the "payback" moment that saves the day. This might be a huge potential spoiler for anyone who can't figure out the film's finale from the plot synopsis below, but the trio take revenge on the fraternity that have been a major pain in their ass, and the revenge is sweet.

The basic premise for this Best Original Screenplay nominee is high-school boy gets dumped (Kevin - Drake Bell) by party-a-lot girlfriend Gina (Tal) for being a predictable bore, and so to show that he can be Mr. Party-A-Lot, too, Kevin and his friends Carter (Caldwell; aka Jonah Hill) and Morris (Covais; aka McLovin) spend the weekend at Fieldmont University to party and get laid as much as possible. But once there, all three find "love" in unexpected places, and experience life in ways they can't possibly imagine (I'm sorta embellishing here). However, to complicate matters (considering that they are posing as college students and not the high schoolers they actually are), the rowdy fraternity house they're staying at begins to not-so-much like them anymore, and threaten the trio's newfound relationships!

When the movie concluded, I was suddenly struck with negative thoughts that I wager everyone else around me think as I watch these films:

- Enough with the fat-kid-making-wise-cracks-but-actually-has-a-sweet-heart character. Only one person did that well enough (Clarke Duke, Sex Drive), and the other dude (Jonah Hill of everything Judd Apatow) is an obnoxious force of epic proportions. It’s time to retire this bumbling, jackass of a cliché. Concerning Andrew Caldwall as Carter Scott, aka the fat-kid this time around, that boy has no acting ability whatsoever (not like that's a prerequisite anymore these days). He spends the entirety of the movie making the mandatory dick & fart jokes, and constantly yells the word "fuck" around like he's been restrained from saying it by his over-protective parents his entire life, and has now used this movie to seize ever opportunity he possibly can to say this "big boy" word. I honestly have no clue why Kevin and Morris are his friends - I personally wouldn't give this asshole the time of day.

- This is not college life. Admittedly, I’m not enrolled in some big-time college with the Greek system and all that jazz - as I’m comfortably attending the local community college, but from my experiences alone here - the life depicted in this film and many others like it is far and wide away from reality. Of course, there are colleges that have insane parties with heavy drinking and promiscuity, but nonetheless, I still don't think it's anywhere near the party center as depicted in films. I would very much like for this uber cliched representation to eviscerate and have a bit of reality to it.

- How immature do you have to be to think a guy drinking beer from another dude's butt crack is funny instead of completely revolting? Sadly, this is only one of many strange pranks that occur that are meant to elicit a laugh, but just resulted in me covering my eyes in shame that I paid $1.07 to rent this pile of shit. I just don't understand why teenagers think piss and shit are friggin' hilarious - am I missing something? Oh well, could be worse.

- College is directed by a woman (Deb Hagan), and normally I don’t give a damn, but the ironic thing is that even I felt this film was demeaning to women, and the fact it’s directed by a woman and not a perverse guy puzzles me. Why would Deb Hagan want anything to do with this? Sure, it’s better than being involved with an Aaron Seltzer & Jason Friedberg production, but not by much. If it wasn’t for that one saving grace at the film’s conclusion, I wouldn’t find any difference in badness between the two projects. But seriously Deb, why did you agree to film this?

- And can we spice up the script, please? We all know the film will end with our main character having an epiphany ("I just need to be me! That's all I really need! Make me strong! Get ready, game on!" - er, sorry, sorta trailing off into High School Musical 3 territory now; excuse me) and that the new girlfriend will find out he lied about being a college student and that will put a rift in the relationship where she can trust him, yada, yada, yada. At least Superbad (which this movie is more than modeled over; it's like they took the general concept and translated it into a college setting) had some brains - not to mention actual comedy - to help it along to be considered a modern classic.

And finally, the DVD comes with both the theatrical and unrated versions. I, of course, chose the unrated version, and thus can’t comment on any differences between the two. I expect, though, that more gratuitous nudity and “fowl” language was reinserted into the picture, with Caldwell saying a few more “fucks!” Special features wise (they even call the unrated version a special feature!), it’s very, very bare bones. I was expecting a commentary, at the least, with the cast making even more dick and fart jokes. Oh well, I’ll try to live with disappointment. The only bonus material is a 5-minute “Gag Reel”, and I regret to inform you hopefuls that there is still nothing remotely funny featured. Pity.

Now I’m not about to stop watching teenage comedies with mass amounts of swearing and partying, but College really opened my eyes to how stupid the genre is, and how I’ve been lucky thus far to have seen a majority that are actually good. I implore everyone to skip College, and to – at the very least – save yourself the brain cells. Go rent the direct-to-DVD American Pie presents Beta House (2007) from Universal - it does everything this movie did but better, with likable characters and at the very least, you'll enjoy your time.