13 March 2012

The Twitter Review - Vol. 1

Hey guys. So, as part of my TV addiction and absolute laziness, I haven't reviewed pretty much anything as of late. I aim to remedy that now. Utilizing the brilliant style of Twitter, I'm going to do my reviews, but write really, really short thoughts on them. Besides, at this point, most of these flicks have been out for eons and anyone who wanted to see them have done so already. I won't limit myself to precisely 140 characters, but somewhere in that margin. This should be fun!

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL: Difficult to top Abrams' masterpiece, but Brad Bird somehow does it. Beautifully shot, hugely intense, breathtaking action bits, great comedy - easily best of the franchise, and helluva fun to watch over and over.

THE DESCENDANTS: First Alexander Payne film, and loved it. Clooney, Woodley, the whole cast - great greatness. Very funny, very emotional, very real. One hell of a memorable film.

HUGO: A love letter to cinema, the tone is wildly uneven, and despite being visually really, really pretty, there is no real emotional connection or sense of completion by films end. A series of connected scenes without anything backing it. Very meh. Hit Girl was good, though.

COLOMBIANA: More of an excuse to see Zoe Saldana in skin-tight outfits, it boasts lots of action and a battalion of cliches in a mediocre production. Fun to watch, but easily forgettable.

THE CHANGE-UP: Ryan Reynolds reaching Zach Galifinakis levels of insufferability, neither Reynolds or Bateman make this movie funny or all that good. Changing bodies by pissing? Facepalm. One saving grace? The exuding hotness of Olivia Wilde. Coulda been better.

CONTAGION: Just as effective as OUTBREAK in scaring the shit out of me. Was uber awesome watching A-Class stars get with the dying on camera, very effective, very chilling. Ended rather quickly, though.

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS: Very meh. Couldn't connect or care. Took a bit to realize there was actual time travel involved, otherwise thought bunch of Paris groupies played dress up. Best part? Kurt Fuller being Kurt Fuller. Otherwise, could care less. SCOOP was stronger.

THE ART OF GETTING BY: Teach me how to get by this film. What annoying emo dick of a kid. Not the best way to make us care about your protagonist, guys.

YOUNG ADULT: Weird. I understand where Cody was trying to go with this, but something about the flick feels 'off'. Mostly, there just should have been MORE. Ends prematurely, the story doesn't seem finished, even in the unfinished, ambiguous-movie-kinda-way.

A GOOD OLD FASHIONED ORGY: Surprisingly funny, though that's largely thanks to Tyler Labine, who easily steals the show in anything he's in. Worth a rental.

MONEYBALL: Worth a rental. Jonah Hill was good. How did Brad Pitt memorize all those bloody baseball statistics? Lots of scenes. Didn't weave together well. Needs trimming. Liked the Pitt/ex-wife bits, that was good.

THE IDES OF MARCH: Really, really, reaaally good once you get past the first 20 mins. of political mumbo jumbo talkie talk. Gosling, Giammati, Clooney, the whole gang - nothing short of awesomeness, and over a month later, the film still sticks with me.

FOOTLOOSE [2011]: Weird complaint, buuut not enough dancing. Friggin' FOOTLOOSE, gimmie some dancing. Lead looked like Edward Cullen impersonator. Main chick was pleasant. Why do I always sigh when I see Dennis Quaid in the credits? Decent script. Can't believe I liked it.

THE BIG YEAR: Understand the story, but it sort of lost itself. The end doesn't justify the journey. Jack Black sucks at V.O. Rosamund Pike is GORGEOUS. Steve Martin, make PINK PANTHER 3 already.

THE RUM DIARY: Johnny Depp playing Jack Sparrow in contemporary times! Good flick, but after 80 minutes of set-up, final 15 wraps up far too quickly. By films end, what's the point? Depp, hot girls, death of newspaper, rich blokes getting richer - what's the point?

STRAW DOGS: Just watch the last 20 minutes. Nothing else in the movie is worthwhile. True story.

WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?: Why do I like you so much? Faris and Evans work off each other extraordinarily well. Yay! @Martin Freeman!

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