Simply Script: No. 10

CLERKS

Script by Kevin Smith

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER
I don't think your manager would
appreciate...

RANDAL
(turning the page)
I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER
I beg your pardon!

RANDAL
(reading on)
Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to
trick me.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER
(defending herself)
I only pointed out that you weren't
paying any attention to what I was
saying.

RANDAL
(turning page and reading)
I hope it feels good.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER
You hope what feels good?

54.


RANDAL
I hope it feels so good to be right.
There is nothing more exhilarating
than pointing out the shortcomings
of others, is there?

The INDECISIVE CUSTOMER wears a face that belies utter
disbelief in the audacity of this most lackadaisical video
clerk. The unmoving newspaper illustrates the total
disinterest of the news-hungry RANDAL. The INDECISIVE
CUSTOMER shakes her head in disgust and throws the movies
back onto the wall.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER
(in a huff)
Well this is the last time I ever
rent here...

RANDAL
You'll be missed.

INDECISIVE CUSTOMER
(losing it altogether)
Screw you!

Simply Script: No. 9

SCREAM 3

Screenplay by Ehren Kruger

Story by Kevin Williamson

ROMAN

And who's our hero? The sole survivor, the one who bravely faced down the psychopath and killed her with her own knife. You're gonna pay for the life you stole from me Sid. For the mother, and for the family, and for the stardom, and for, goddammit, everything you had that should've been mine!

SIDNEY

God, why don't you stop your whining and get on with it, I've heard this shit before!

ROMAN

STOP!

SIDNEY

You know why you kill people, Roman, do you?

ROMAN

I don't want to hear it!

SIDNEY

Because you choose to, there is no one else to blame!

ROMAN

God fucking dammit!

SIDNEY

Why don't you take some FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY!

ROMAN

FUCK YOU! [He lunges]

SIDNEY

FUCK YOU!

Simply Script: No. 8

THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS

Written by Andy & Larry Wachowski

AGENT SMITH

Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Yes? No? Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson. You must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep fighting. Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? Why do you persist?

NEO

Because I choose to.

Simply Script: No. 7

BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID

Written by William Goldman

ETTA PLACE

I'm 26, and I'm single, and a school teacher, and that's the bottom of the pit. And the only excitement I've known is here with me now. I'll go with you, and I won't whine, and I'll sew your socks, and I'll stitch you when you're wounded, and I'll do anything you ask of me except one thing. I won't watch you die. I'll miss that scene if you don't mind.

Simply Script: No. 6

HAROLD & KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY

Written by Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg

Poem by David Feinberg

KUMAR

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

Simply Script: No. 5

I couldn't help it, THE DARK KNIGHT played on TNT last night. That and all the info about DARK KNIGHT RISES spilling through, expect this blog to be very Batman-heavy for the next month or so. Hell, until the next film comes out next summer!

THE DARK KNIGHT


Screenplay by Jonathan and Christopher Nolan

Story by David S. Goyer

GORDON (V.O)

Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A Dark Knight.

Simply Script: No. 4

SERENITY


Screenplay by Joss Whedon



MAL

You all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. 'Cause as sure as I know anything I know this: they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground, swept clean. A year from now, ten, they'll swing back to the belief that they can make people...better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I am to misbehave.

Simply Script: No. 3

It's the holiday season (in case the snow outside didn't quite convey the idea), so I thought it'd be appropriate to have a holiday-themed installment of this feature. The following is just a hint of the magnificence that is the Lex Luthor character given so many multiple dimensions in this television series. Forget Clark Kent, Lex Luthor was the most captivating, complex bloke in the entire saga. Perhaps one day I'll write a essay on the character; give me a excuse to watch the first seven seasons again...

SMALLVILLE
S05E09. "Lexmas"
Written by Holly Harold

LEX

I thought you didn't make house calls.

GRIFF

Giving the circumstances, I made an exception.

LEX

Ah, not to worry, Griff. We Luthors are made of pretty tough and definitely expensive material.

GRIFF

Are you sure your morphine drop isn't turned up too high?

LEX

Well, it's not everyday one has a near death experience. And it's true, much like Ebenezer Scrooge, I realized that what I want more than anything is to live happily ever after, and do you know what the secret to happiness is? Power, money, and power. See, once you have those two things, you can secure everything else and keep it that way.

GRIFF

So, what am I doing here, Lex?

LEX

I want you to pull the grenade. Find it, fake it, do whatever it takes to knock Jonathan Kent out of the race. I wanna be Senator. I want it all.

GRIFF

Consider it done. Merry Christmas.

Simply Script: No. 2

DOCTOR WHO

4.18. "The End of Time, Part Two"
Written by Russell T. Davies

WILF

I'm sorry.

THE DOCTOR

Sure.

WILF

Just leave me.

THE DOCTOR

Okay! Right then! I will! Cos you had to go in there, didn't you?! You had to go and get stuck, oh yes! Cos that's who you are, Wilfred. You were always this. Waiting for me. All this time.

WILF

But really. Leave me. I'm an old man, Doctor. I've had my time.

THE DOCTOR

Well exactly! Look at you. Not remotely important. But me! I could do so much more. So! Much! More! But this is what I get. My reward! And it's not fair!!!

- proper fury, turning away to lash out, kicking something -

Then silence.

Then quiet, calm:

THE DOCTOR

Lived too long.

He walks back towards the OPEN BOOTH.

WILF

...don't, please Doctor, no don't, please don't, sir, please...

The Doctor's hand on the door.

THE DOCTOR

Wilfred. It's my honour.

WILF

But you're better than me.

THE DOCTOR

Don't you ever say that.

Simply Script: No. 1

New sporadic feature here at Ramblings of a Minnesota Geek. Truth be told, this concept was inspired from the moment this exchange transpired in David Fincher's THE SOCIAL NETWORK back on 1 October 2010. Great, great writing by Aaron Sorkin (STUDIO 60). I recognize plenty of other blogs do it, but plenty of other blogs do reviews, too, so I wager it all works out in the end. Enjoy! And I promise after the next obligatory V FOR VENDETTA installment I'll try to come up with something a bit more original for this feature. Until then, SOCIAL NETWORK should be hitting second-run screens relatively quickish, so I implore the three of you who haven't seen it yet to do so.

THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Screenplay by Aaron Sorkin

GAGE

Do you think I deserve your full attention?

MARK

I had to swear a oath before we began the deposition phase and I don’t want to get arrested for perjury so I have a legal obligation to say no.

GAGE

OK. “No” you don’t think I deserve your attention.

MARK

I think if your clients want to stand on my shoulders and call themselves tall they have a right to give it a try. But there’s no requirement that I enjoy being here listening to people lie. You have part of my attention – the minimum amount needed.

The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook where my employees and I are doing things that nobody in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creativity capable of doing. Did I adequately answer your condescending question?