05 September 2010

31 Movie Days: 05

Day 05 - Movie(s) I Loathe

Every movie ever made by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. They include: DATE MOVIE, EPIC MOVIE, MEET THE SPARTANS, DISASTER MOVIE, and (most recently) VAMPIRE SUCK. I've seen the first two, snuck into a few minutes of the last one, and I will not go anywhere near the two in the middle. But I've heard enough, and I know enough. I hate EPIC MOVIE so, so, so very much. And I'm not saying that because it's the popular thing - I seriously and utterly hated it. I hate that these movies do nothing more than reflect our culture and point it out, and for good measure, throwing in a poop or fart joke. I hate that audiences flock to see these pieces of shit, even people I know (yikes), and something like this, that so definitely doesn't deserve it, ranks in $20 million opening weekend, and leaves a superb piece of entertainment like SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD gaining only $10 million, then $5 million the next week, and onward to oblivion. I hate that people laugh at these films, finding them immensely funny, and then end up buying it when it hits DVD. I hate that I'm forced to sell it to them. The only positive thing I can say about any of their works it that I found DATE MOVIE not as bad as I expected. There, it's been said. Something positive. Yippie.

But something still puzzles me about these movies and the AMERICAN PIE PRESENTS label - what is the funny fascination with little people/dwarfs/whatever? Why is their mere presence in a movie a guaranteed laugh out loud riot? Anyone wanna explain that one to me, 'cuz these two dumboes are making millions off it.

In the category of this question, the singular movie I utterly loathe is EPIC MOVIE. Please burn.

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